Dear Advertising Agency & Consultant,

You are like chocolate covered ice cream in a jacuzzi inside a bigger jacuzzi. You’re like a golden trampoline with disco lights on a beach in Ibiza. It has been so much fun but sadly it is over between us.

I want you to know it is not you, it’s me. I still love your childish ways, it is fun to watch all the cool things you do but I have grown up and you have not. How long did you expect me to tell clients that the best way to cut through the noise was to make more noise, more ads, and more posts? How long did you think we could award campaigns that lose clients money without them waking up to what was going on?

You awarded campaigns like “Fearless Girl” as one of the best campaigns ever, even though the client lost money because of it. It’s like you believe the best way to cure a headache is via magician because magicians make things disappear. It is creative and funny to watch but seriously, WTF! Now you started sleeping around with the big financial consultancies but they are just repeating the same thing you have said for years, MAKE MORE NOISE TO BREAK THROUGH THE NOISE. You know better, you know this makes no sense.  I don’t know what happened because you are smarter than that.

I’m different now, I’ve closed 23 out of 24 pitches last year because our solutions make sense to the CEO, CMO, and the CFO. We bridge the gap between business and marketing strategy without sacrificing creativity. That is why they are calling us from all over the world. I will not be coming back. If you’re tired of the BS as well, join us. Otherwise, I hope you’re not mad and we can still be friends.